What I Did For Phil
2008-02-26 12:11:52
By: Gene Bromberg
Have you ever seen the musical A Chorus Line? Neither have I. How about the movie based on the musical? I actually didn't catch the whole thing but I remember seeing bits and pieces of it a long, long time ago. My dad likes Marvin Hamlisch.
Anyway, if I recall correctly the film (and maybe the musical) ends with a producer deciding who among 17 dancers will make the cut and join a show's chorus line. The dancers are put through their paces and tell the producer about their lives, hoping to be among the four boys and four girls who get the gig. At the end the producer starts reading off names, and with each name he calls a delighted dancer beams with joy as they realize they've made it. And then, when the producer finishes with his list, he says something along the lines of, "Thank you for your time, you all can go". And they realize that he was listing the dancers who DIDN'T make the cut. It's his way of showing that it's a cold, cruel world out there, one where hope always leads to crushing disappointment. That's the lesson I took from it, at least. I should probably get around to seeing a therapist someday.
ANYWAY, I bring this up because I felt I was watching a poker-themed sequal to A Chorus Line last night as Phil Hellmuth and Annie Duke picked their teams on the third episode of The Best Damn Poker Show. The pair took turns picking players and I was delighted when Phil chose the button-cute Melissa with his first pick. But thanks to the all-encompassing darkness A Chorus Line has cast across my soul I immediately sensed something was amiss. It didn't take me long to figure out that Phil and Annie were naming those players who didn't make their teams, and the players themselves figured it out when they looked around and saw that there were more than seven of them on each side. And, alas, that will be the last we'll see of Melissa, at least for this season.
Both Annie and Phil also brought two celebrity players to their teams. Phil's team can certainly outrock Annie's with Scott Ian of Anthrax and Sully Erna of Godsmack on board, but Annie's got Jennifer Tilly (more on her in my next post) and actor Patrick Warburton. I'm a big fan of Mr. Warburton's, not so much for his role as Puddy on Seinfeld (where of course he was very funny) but as Johnny Johnson on NewsRadio and, especially, for his voice work as Brock Samson, the brutally effective bodyguard on the hilarious and disturbing show The Venture Brothers.
But enough of my fanboy enthusiasm. Annie and Phil went through the remaining players making their selections, and I felt bad for Ruby, who Annie agonized over before eschewing her for Hollywood Dave Stann. He promised Annie that he'll be on best behavior the rest of the way...we shall see if Annie comes to regret her decision.
Last night's play didn't count toward the final standings, so it gave Annie and Phil a chance to plot and scheme and counter-scheme. Annie's first pick was Tracy Scala, an aggressive player who Phil didn't like because he was a bit too bluffy for Phil's taste. Before the match Annie told Tracy to amp up his aggression and play like a maniac, knowing that Phil was telling his players to always call Tracy down and not give him credit for ever having a hand. When his players twice picked Tracy off Phil and Mark "P0ker H0" Kroon were exchanging high-fives at how well their players were following instructions...not knowing that this was exactly what Annie wanted them to think. Annie even called a time-out for Tracy to ostensibly chew him out for playing like a loon and to tone it down. Instead she congratulated him for helping her maninpulate Phil like a marionnette. When the chips start to fly for real I expect Tracy will screw his chips to the felt and play super-tight...we'll see if Phil detects this in time to make an appropriate counter-move.
Wheels within wheels, that's what this show has become. We'll see next week how Annie's and Phil's teams do when the training wheels come off and they fly solo for the first time.
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