The Sucker Is You
2007-02-16 12:19:47
By:
Gene Bromberg
Of course you've heard the famous line by Amarillo Slim, "If you can't spot the sucker within the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker." Well, if you ever sit down to
play poker with Ricky Jay, EVERYONE at the table is a sucker. In case you didn't read t
he New Yorker piece by Mark Singer that I linked to yesterday, I at least want you to read this little part of it. I remember reading this article while eating lunch in a department store deli. I think I was a half-hour late getting back to my desk, I had to read the whole thing right then and there. Anyway, here's what happened when Singer sat down to play cards with Jay:
"I'm always saying there's no correlation between gambling and magic," Jay said as he shuffle-cut the cards. "But this is a routine of actual gamblers' techniques within the context of a theatrical magic presentation." He noticed me watching him shuffling, and asked softly, with deadpan sincerity, "Does that look fair?"
When I said it looked fair, he dealt two hands of five-card draw and told me to lay down my cards. Two pair. Then he laid down his. A straight. "Was that fair?" he said. "I don't think so. Let's discuss the reason why that wasn't fair. Even though I shuffled openly and honestly, I didn't let you cut the cards. So let's do it again, and this time I'll let you cut the cards."
He shuffled again, I cut the cards, he dealt, and this time I had three tens. "Ready to turn them over?"
My three-of-a-kind compared unfavorably with his diamond flush. "Is that fair?" he said again. "I don't think so. Let's talk about why that might not be fair. Even though I shuffled the cards" -he was now reshuffling the deck- "and you cut the cards, you saw me pick up the cards after you cut them, and maybe you think there was some way for me to nullify the cut by sleight of hand. So this time I'll shuffle the cards and you shuffle the cards."
Jay shuffled the deck, I riffle-shuffled the deck and handed it back to him, and he said, "And I'll deal six hands of poker-one for myself and five for you. I'll let you choose any one of the five. And I'll beat you."
He dealt six hands. Instead of revealing only one of my five hands, I turned them all face up.
"Oh, oh," he said. "I see you want to turn them all over. I only intended for you to pick one-but, well, no, that's all right."
The best of my five hands was two pair.
Jay said, "Now, did that seem fair?"
I said yes.
Jay said, "I don't think so," and showed me his cards-four kings. I rested my elbows on the table and massaged my forehead.
"Now, why might that be unfair?" he continued. "I'll tell you why. Because, even though you shuffled, I dealt the cards. That time, I also shuffled the cards. Now, this time you shuffle the cards and you deal the cards. And you pick the number of players. And you designate any hand for me and any hand for you." After shuffling, I dealt four hands, arranged as the points of a square. I chose a hand for myself and selected one for him. My cards added up to nothing- king-high nothing.
"Is that fair?" Jay said, picking up his cards, waiting a beat, and returning them to the table, one by one- the coup de grace. "I. Don't. Think. So."
One, two, three, four aces.
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